My first born was definitely the reason we went on to have a second quickly! She was calm and fell really easily into a routine and often could get herself back to sleep with a little rock or some white noise. Babies are generally meant to need our help to get to sleep or back to sleep.
However, when she had just turned 4, her sleep went completely haywire in the space of 2 nights! I didn’t even know where to start – what had literally changed overnight? When we are in these situations it is so easy to have tunnel vision and focus on ‘why are you now not sleeping?!’
I was stumped and when it continued over a week and into our holiday, I began to think ‘right that is it, she will never sleep well again!’ Sound familiar? Taking a step back and I started to see what was happening in her world. She was due to start school that September (it was the summer holidays). This was clearly an area that may have been unsettling her. Babies are different to toddlers and pre-schoolers. The list of reasons why a newborn or young baby may wake up, are different to a pre-schooler having trouble with sleep. Knowing this can equip you to deal with these ‘blips’ and tolerate them more easily when they happen.
Some of the reasons that a pre- schooler or school age child may struggle with sleep include, attachment triggers. This is the fear of separation and in the early years any experiences associated with rejection could be a trigger. There may be anxiety about any transitions and upcoming changes or fear of moving home etc. Other reasons can be that they are learning new things, learning to read, count or going through key developments. In some cases, sensory processing difficulties including hypersensitivity and sensory seeking patterns can cause sleep issues.
When my daughter wouldn’t go to sleep and also kept waking all night, I was sleep deprived! I was stressed and wanted it to end. My reserves were low and that is probably why I was catastrophising that she wouldn’t never sleep again! However, children will pick up on your tension, anxiety and stress of the situation. Try to think about calming your child as opposed to thinking about the end of result of getting them to sleep again! In the end, I resorted to songs, audios, meditations and generally as many soothing and reassuring words as I could to help her relax and sleep again. The good news is, she did, after two weeks her sleep went back to it is was before.
There are so many support strategies for toddlers and pre-schoolers, get in touch if you need help in this area!
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